Happy Anniversary To Me 4-20-20

Today is my sixth month anniversary. Six months ago, I was on my walk. It was Sunday. I was praying that day asking god to intercede in my life and help me to land on my feet again spiritually, emotionally and physically. I was so tired of the anxiety, depression, PTSD, a negative mindset as well as the constant fear and worry that had taken control of my life.

This coming May will be five years that I returned from San Francisco. I’m embarrassed to admit that I’ve isolated myself in my room ever since. Life happens sometimes. Challenges arise, traumatic experiences happen. Health problems, relationship problems, job loss, finances…..Life as we knew it can change in a New York minute.

That Sunday, I made the decision to take my life back. I won’t bore you with the details. Some things are just meant to stay private. However, I will share I have been working diligently to take control of my mind, body and soul and spirit everyday. The result….I’m happy again. I love life again….and I’m grateful. I have a whole new perspective. I see the blessings in all things even at a time when we are all forced to be in isolation. I’m learning every day to create a better me. You too can create a better you the minute you decide to take control of your life. Good times will happen as will bad. Happy times will happen as will sad. It’s how we choose to react to every situation. Personally, I chose to react poorly.

Six months ago, I chose peace, love, serenity, joy, health, family, but more importantly life! I choose to live my life in a state of gratitude opposed to depression. It’s been six months ago today that I prayed asking God for help. He heard me that day because today is my anniversary and every day I find myself looking forward to the day as well as what the future will be that is right in front me. With any luck, the light that shines in my life will exude and shine brightly on those I encounter everyday. Life is good! It always was. I just failed to recognize it.

(Maui….my favorite place)

Expecting Something Wonderful 4-7-20

Several years ago I found myself faced with challenging times. I’ve shared my story many times and I’ve also shared how I went to mass one Sunday. My life was overwhelming. That Sunday Father Michael shared about a challenging day he had experienced that week. Everything was going wrong. Who knew? Even priests struggle. In any event Father Michael told the story of how he found himself overwhelmed, discouraged and feeling defeated when he opened a book and at the top of the page were the words “Something Wonderful Is About To happen”. Immediately he felt a sense of peace knowing that despite having a bad day, he was reminded that at any given moment “Something Wonderful
Was About To Happen”. He encouraged us to remind ourselves that even when the going gets tough, we have to be prepared for something wonderful to happen. God, the Universe or our Higher Power is always ready and willing to provide us with something wonderful. We just have to be open to receiving the good things even during stressful times.

I was so moved by his story, that when I got home that night I entered that reminder on my calendar to remind me of “something wonderful” throughout the day. It never fails, just when I’m ready to explode or even panic, I hear that reminder on my phone. Usually I’ll find myself looking up and seeing an awesome sunset, a beautiful flower or even witness an act of kindness. At times, I’ll get a call from my kids or grandkids and all that stinkin’ thinkin’, stress or fear fades away and is always replaced with something wonderful.

I’m sharing because times are hard for so many people right now. Fear, anxiety, boredom, financial difficulties and even illness are everywhere. However, if you take a moment to remind yourself “Something Wonderful Is About To Happen” you’ll be surprised to find something really will. Your prayer might not be answered for that specific thing but you will always witness something wonderful as long as you’re open to receiving it.

I am a lover of the outdoors so every day for me. even when the challenges are overwhelming, I get to experience something wonderful and I’m often inclined to capture that “something wonderful” in a photo on my phone. I share that blessing with others in the hope that just when you think you can’t take it anymore, you too will experience a wonderful sense of peace, if only for a brief moment.

So remember, next time you’re feeling overwhelmed take a time out and say “Something Wonderful Is About To Happen!” Trust me, something always will. Just be open to receiving it.

Stay In The Light 4-4-20

I woke up this morning. My hair looks like crap. I need a hair cut. Thank god for banana clips. My nails are in a desperate need of a fill and my toes have no business being seen in flip flops. I feel a little frumpy but honestly it really doesn’t bother me. The nation is in isolation. Our new fashion trend is a face mask and gloves as well as social distancing. So many people are facing a financial crisis. Depression and anxiety I’m sure have affected many people.

Here’s what I know. I always say “In A New York Minute, everything can change”. I say this because it happened to me. Five years ago I had cancer. I lost my health, my hair, my eyebrows, my eyelashes, eyebrows, fingernails, toenails and my dignity too. Life as I knew it changed forever. I have experienced financial difficulties since as well as depression, anxiety and I’ve battled PTSD too. The experience has made me a better person and has allowed me to really recognize what’s important. In other words, I’ve managed to survive. It hasn’t been easy but I’m still here to bother everyone with all my crazy posts, pictures and even voicing my opinion for the things I’m passionate about. Homeless, health, cancer….so many things.

I’m sharing because I know so many people are facing challenges right now. I’ve seen posts complaining about the lack of frivolous things. Posts about lack of work, money, fear etc. I want to encourage you to keep going. This to shall pass and trust me when this is all over you will become “A Better You”. All that stuff you thought was important will no longer be important anymore. Life, family and health will become priorities. If you’re struggling financially, you’ll learn to live frugally. I know this to be true. In the beginning of all this I was so scared. I’m still worried and fearful to a degree. My therapist reminded me that I’ve faced many of these challenges already and I’ve gotten through it. She’s right. My hair and nails are no longer important. I know how to live frugally but more importantly I know what’s important. Health, family and gratitude for what I do have.

I’ll be going on my walk shortly. The sun is shining, it’s a little brisk but I’m grateful. This song will be on my playlist reminding me that no matter the challenge, today is what I make it. I choose to make it a “Lovely Day”. I hope you will too. Sending love and light to everyone today. Stay strong and keep the faith. Today is a challenge but there’s always a light at the end of the tunnel and when you finally make it to the other side you become a better you and you look back and are reminded that everything you thought was important will not be as important anymore. Stay the course and recognize the blessings in what you do have right now. Stay in the light and send that light to others

The World I Know 2-28-20

I love this song. The meaning is so profound and so relatable to many including me. We’ve all been rock bottom at some point in our life. But it never fails. The sun shines once again in our life and we look back on the bad times and thank god we made it.

The music video depicts a businessman who begins to go about his day, reading The New York Times on the way to his office. As he reads about death, and sees the homelessness and sadness on the street, he becomes disillusioned with his life and prepares to commit suicide. As he climbs to the roof of a nearby building, he takes off his shoes and looks at the ground crying. He stretches out his arms and readies himself to fall.

However, just as he is about to fall, a pigeon lands on his arm. He feeds it with the bagel in his pocket, and the crumbs attract ants, which makes the man notice the similarities of them to the people walking below. He laughs throwing all his money at the people and pulls himself out of his state.

During the entire video, periodic cuts to singer Ed Roland looking on at the man while singing the song are shown.

The video also shows sadness and happiness in the form of color hues for the video. While the man is disillusioned with his life and is thinking about suicide, the video is in a blue and purple tint, giving a dark feeling to the video. When the pigeon lands on the man’s arm, the video’s hue changes to show the normal colors of the city, also revealing the sun shining over the city, showing of the sudden change to happiness and relief. – Wikipedia

Grief 2-2-20

Grief is unbearable. Then it fades, only to come back at a moment’s notice. It catches you off guard. It sends you to bed. It sends you to dark places until, God willing, you get up and try again. – Maria Shriver