Worry 6-7-18

I’m a worrier by nature. I worry about everything. Finances, health, relationships and oven worry about the possibility of things that haven’t happened yet. I drive myself insane. For me, once sorry sets in, depression comes, failure, low self esteem and worse I give up.

As of late, I’ve worked diligently on changing this extremely negative attribute. On Monday I met with my oncologist. Recently I found a lump. This lump, however is not on my breast. It’s to the right of my breast on my rib cage. Is it Cancer? Heck if I know. What I do know is on Tuesday I will have an ultra sound. Until then, I’m not going to worry about it.

Yesterday I had a colonoscopy. It’s my third since being diagnosed with pre-colon cancer in 2015. I spent all day Tuesday prepping for the procedure. If you’ve ever had a colonoscopy you can attest the prep is no fun. This time however, I didn’t worry about the outcome. You can’t imagine what a difference not worrying made. My prep was a cake walk as was the procedure. In the end I had three polyps removed as well as a diverticulitis spot removed. They have all been sent in for a biopsy. As for me, I’m not going to worry about it.

My family has been in a very challenging lawsuit since my dads passing. This challenge has brought so much strife in to our life. However, again, I don’t know what the outcome will be. What I do know, I’m not going to worry about it.

My finances are a mess and I face challenges everyday. I’ve spent so much time worrying opposed to spending time finding gratitude in the little things that are positive in my life. Life is short. I don’t know what the future holds for me but what I do know is I’m tired of worrying about it.

This morning the following passages appeared in my life. A reminder that I have nothing to worry about. God is in control. The passage is Matthew 6 28-34

28 “And why do you worry about clothes? See how the flowers of the field grow. They do not labor or spin. 29 Yet I tell you that not even Solomon in all his splendor was dressed like one of these. 30 If that is how God clothes the grass of the field, which is here today and tomorrow is thrown into the fire, will he not much more clothe you—you of little faith? 31 So do not worry, saying, ‘What shall we eat?’ or ‘What shall we drink?’ or ‘What shall we wear?’ 32 For the pagans run after all these things, and your heavenly Father knows that you need them. 33 But seek first his kingdom and his righteousness, and all these things will be given to you as well. 34 Therefore do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own.

If this passage isn’t a reminder to stop worrying then the following song should be. I was in my car this morning and the first song to come on was this great tune by Stevie Wonder. “Don’t you worry about a thing”. Seriously?! I think The Bi Guy is sending me a message.

We all have trials in our life. We all face problems. Some of us more than others. However, if we could just let go and believe in the possibility that everything will work out for our greatest good, Wouldn’t life be easier?! I think so.

She Let Go 1-5-17

She Let Go
She let go. Without a thought or a word, she let go.

She let go of fear. She let go of the judgments.

She let go of the confluence of opinions swarming around her head.

She let go of the committee of indecision within her.

She let go of all the ‘right’ reasons. Wholly and completely,

without hesitation or worry, she just let go.

She didn’t ask anyone for advice. She didn’t read a

book on how to let go… She didn’t search the scriptures.

She just let go.

She let go of all of the memories that held her back.

She let go of all of the anxiety that kept her from moving forward.

She let go of the planning and all of the calculations about how to do it just right.

She didn’t promise to let go.

She didn’t journal about it.

She didn’t write the projected date in her day-timer.

She made no public announcement and put no ad in the paper.

She didn’t check the weather report or read her daily horoscope.

She just let go.

She didn’t analise whether she should let go.

She didn’t call her friends to discuss the matter.

She didn’t do a five-step Spiritual Mind Treatment.

She didn’t call the prayer line.

She didn’t utter one word. She just let go.

No one was around when it happened.

There was no applause or congratulations.

No one thanked her or praised her.

No one noticed a thing.

Like a leaf falling from a tree, she just let go.

There was no effort. There was no struggle.

It wasn’t good and it wasn’t bad.

It was what it was, and it is just that.

In the space of letting go, she let it all be.

A small smile came over her face.

A light breeze blew through her.

And the sun and the moon shone forevermore.

Here’s to giving ourselves the gift of letting go…

There’s only one Guru ~ you.

―Rev. Safire Rose

WILD WOMAN SISTERHOOD

This could be well suited for men too