Reflecting on my day. What a day it was. I went to my brothers office to help organize my dads old office which has now become a storage area for truck parts. My dads only presence these days are his machete knives that still hang on his wall. A gift from my Italian stallion San Francisco boyfriend so many years ago. Boy was my dad excited to receive those knives! Lol
While cleaning I found myself reflecting on the good times and good laughs my dad and I had in his office while pigging out on pie or tacos. As I attempted to organize all the parts I wondered if my dad and I would be in stitches because I have to be honest, I had no idea what any of the parts were but by gosh I organized everything. While I was putting parts on the shelf I was suddenly hit in the nose by a very hard object. Much to my surprise it was a small propane tank that fell from the top of the shelf hitting my nose like a baseball. My nose hurt so bad I thought I was bleeding.
When I was done I went in to my brothers office to organize his files. I was on the floor and when I went to stand up I hit my head on the corner of his desk. I think I saw stars!! I have a bump the size of a quarter on my head. One would think I’d call it quits but not this girl. I decided to clean the employee lounge. Don’t ask me how but somehow I walked face first in to a wall or cabinet and hit my face knocking my glasses off. I thought to myself “are you kidding me?!”
Any way I’m super exhausted and I’m praying I don’t have two black eyes tomorrow!! The beauty of today is tomorrow is a new day. I’d like to think my dad is in heaven having a good chuckle and I’d like to think we are laughing together.
Yesterday was my dads birthday. When my dad was alive I used to love to spoil him on his birthday. I would always buy him something special and super cool. I miss my dad every day. I miss his intrusive phone calls throughout the day. I miss hearing his crazy stories that would always make me laugh until I cried and I miss the comfort I felt knowing that even on my worse and most challenging days I could always count on my dad to be there to pick me up and force me to keep going. More importantly I miss spoiling him rotten on his birthday.
I had to drive to Moses Lake yesterday afternoon. On the way I found myself thinking about my dad. I was a little teary eyed missing him immensely. Suddenly this huge bird landed on the road in front of me I thought “is that a hawk?!” As I got closer the bird didn’t budge. It just kept staring at me. I had to drive around it as it just kept looking at me. I realized it was an Eagle! I couldn’t believe it! In truth, it freaked me out. However, after I passed the bird I saw it spread its wings and fly away. I wondered if it was some sort of sign. Then I remembered. My dad had an eagle tattoo on his arm. When he passed I took a picture of it. I later got that same tattoo. I used to call my dad the The Don because he often lived his life after his favorite movie, The Godfather. I know this sounds crazy but I would like to believe that my dad saw me cry today and felt the painful void I still feel because he’s gone. I’d like to believe he was letting me know that he’s still with me in spirit. I hope so anyway.
Happy Birthday to the man who still owns a piece of my heart. Even though he’s no longer with me, I know he’s with me in spirit. Who knows….maybe as an Eagle. With that said, may he continue to fly like an Eagle enjoying the freedom of no longer being in pain.
Happy Fathers Day to all you dads out there. Especially to my son and son in law. In my opinion, two of the greatest dads ever. Fathers Day is a reminder of the void I feel missing my dad. It’s been six years since he passed away. There isn’t a day I don’t miss that wild and crazy guy who always made me laugh. Somehow, even on the worst days my dad had a way with bringing tears to my eyes from laughing so hard as he told one of his hilarious stories.
On this Fathers Day, I’d like to reflect on the fun memories my dad left behind. As I look at this photo I’m reminded of the good times I shared when it was “Just Me And My Dad”.
Today the tears are gone and the void in my heart has been replaced with the love and joy I have from my beautiful grandchildren but I’d still give anything to have just one more day. One more day of hearing my dad share one of his funny stories. One more day of just “hanging out”. One more phone call. One more day…..Just Me And My Dad.