Find Your Way Back 7-19-18

As a teenager I was a big fan of Jefferson Starship. I used to love the band. “Find Your Way Back” was certainly a favorite.

This morning on my walk for some reason I thought of this song and listened to it while I was walking. As I listened to the lyrics I found myself relating to some of the words.

Like the song, for me, the past few years (seven to be exact) have certainly been a long road since I packed up and left home looking for a new life only to turn around, leave San Francisco and find my way back home. The place I left in the first place. I can honestly say I’ve carried a heavy load along the way. However, as I pondered where I’ve been, I realized I’m no longer in that space anymore. In fact, those dark days seem like they happened so long ago.

These past several months I finally began to feel the fog lift. Occasionally, I’ve even felt like a turtle poking his head out feeling things out to ensure it was safe to finally come out of my shell and begin moving forward.

I believe we all face trials in our lives. At times those trials bring you to your knees. If you’re not careful, you find yourself stuck in a cesspool of water feeling like you’re drowning. I’m embarrassed to admit, that’s what happened to me. I’ve been drowning for a very long time. Trauma, grief, finances, breakups, lawsuits, cancer, illness…..the list goes on leading to depression, anxiety and yes….PTSD. Through it all, somewhere along the way I realized I’m the same strong woman I always was before everything in my life turned upside down. I’m still funny. I’m still strong. I’m still smart. I’m still that crazy, fabulous me I’ve always been. My circumstances may have changed and maybe I’ve been lost for awhile but I realize I’m still the same “me” I’ve always been. Love me or not, I am who I am and I’m ok with being me. I saw a quote I had posted a few years ago. “Sometimes, in order to be happy in the present moment, you have to be willing to give up all hope for a better past”. Truth!!! I can’t change the past but I can certainly choose to be happy now.

On Saturday, I’ll be on an airplane flying far away from here for the next two weeks in search of finding the peace and healing I need to finally find my way back. I’m so close. I can feel it. It occurred to me this morning that despite all the “rock bottom” moments we experience in our lives, somehow, someway we always find our way back. Of course, when you’re in the thick of the chaos swirling around you it’s hard to grasp the idea that eventually this too shall pass. I can assure you that based on my experience whatever you’re going through right now, trust me, more importantly trust god, and know this too will pass and before you know it, you will find your way back. Until then, don’t get caught up in depression, feeling sorry for yourself and whatever you do….DO NOT spend three years in your bedroom at your moms house watching Hallmark Romance movies like I did. Lol. What a waste of so many precious moments!! My advice is find your happiness in the present. Enjoy the ride. It might take seven years but I guarantee you will find your back. Just ask me.

In the meantime if you can’t find some inspiration or joy today, I’m posting my favorite Jefferson Starship song as a reminder to stay in faith. Today is the first day of finding your way back. My comeback is right around the corner. I believe yours is too!!

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Friday The 13th 7-13-18

Today is Friday the 13th. Friday the 13th isn’t all bad. It’s actually a great day to begin anew.

1. 13 is a Karmic Number.

It serves as a timely reminder to look deep within, release any harmful emotions not serving your greatest self, and recognize the parts of your soul that need to come to the surface and shine!

This is a potent theme right now, thanks to the supercharged New Moon Solar Eclipse in Cancer that darkened our skies late last night and into the wee hours of this morning.

Any confusion or sadness you are experiencing right now is helping you process some deep-seated emotions that you’ve never fully dealt with…

And you’re more ready than ever to experience the beautiful transformation!

2. 13 symbolizes renewal.

The year may be half over, but it’s not too late to make 2018 your most abundant and joyful year yet! There are more and more incredible opportunities for growth and abundance circulating every single day – just waiting to be claimed by those who understand the hidden energies, patterns and codes invisible to most.

In numerology, 13 is the number of upheaval and progress, but carries the #4’s influence of dedication and hard work (13, 1+3=4).

Perfectly timed with the New Supermoon, this Friday the 13th is a day for new beginnings and steady growth!

3. 13 is the number of life.

There are 13 lunar cycles in a year.

Women have 13 menstrual cycles in a year…

And 13 opportunities to create life.

4. Today is a double “13” day!

Not only is it the 13th day in the month, but July 13, 2018 is a “13” Universal Day!

July 13, 2018

= 7 + 13 + 2018

= 2038

= 2 + 0 + 3 + 8

= 13!

A double dose of 13 reinforces the powerful message of release, rebirth and transformation coded within this mysterious date.

Duck Butts 7-6-18

Duck Butts

BY MADISYN TAYLOR

Next time you see a duck butt, you might be inspired to examine your own ability to both float on the surface and to dive beneath it.

If you are lucky enough to live in a part of the world that is also a home to ducks, you will no doubt be familiar with the image of their cute feathery bottoms sticking up in the air as their heads disappear under the surface of the water. Perhaps you’ve even taken a moment to wonder what they see in their underwater world, and if they will resurface with a fish or a water bug in their beaks. As we observe them, we see that ducks are denizens of three worlds–the world of air, the world of water, and the world of earth. As such, they have adapted themselves to be able to swim, fly, and walk, and they seek and find nourishment in more than one place. They are symbols of versatility and can inspire us to explore our own ability to adapt and find nourishment in a variety of places.

Ducks are able to float, swim, and dive into the water, fishing for food. They can walk on the ground, eating vegetation and bugs, and they fly in the air to travel long distances relatively quickly. Equipped with feet that are equally good at paddling and walking, as well as wings to fly, ducks seem comfortable in just about any natural environment. Next time you see a duck bottom, you might be inspired to examine your own ability to both float on the surface and to dive beneath it. In many traditions, water symbolizes the emotions–to duck our heads into our emotions means we are able to surrender our minds to our hearts, to go into the watery realm of feeling and see what there is to see, often coming to the surface with nourishment and treasure.

At the same time, we share the duck’s ability to get solid ground under our feet by connecting to the earth on which we live simply by walking on it. And finally, when we reside in our spirits, we fly above the mental, emotional, and material realms, free of all the ties that bind us to this earth, traveling faster and farther than we ever thought possible.

Ho-Oponopono 6-15-18

Recently my Lifecoach suggested I begin practicing Ho-Oponopono meditation. I had never heard of it but when she explained the process to me I decided to try it. After all, I love the Polynesian culture. They exude so much gratitude and happiness. The chant is really simple.

“I love you. I’m sorry. Please forgive me. Thank you.”

I found some YouTube videos and I am including the ones I’ll be using for the next week. I will keep you posted on my progress.

If you’re like me and have never heard of this meditation ritual I am providing you with some information from Wikipedia. I’d like to encourage anyone who’s working through healing of resentments or any illness to join me and give this ritual a try. What have we got to lose? Nothing. In my opinion the Polynesians are the happiest people I’ve ever met. Their joyful, peaceful and gracious lifestyle is something I would like in my own life. If this works, then I will exude those same attributes in my own life. I’m giving this a try and hope you will too.

Wikipedia states:

Hoʻoponopono (ho-o-pono-pono) is a Hawaiian practice of reconciliation and forgiveness. The Hawaiian word translates into English simply as correction, with the synonyms manage or supervise, and the antonym careless.[1][2] Similar forgiveness practices are performed on islands throughout the South Pacific, including Hawaii, Samoa, Tahiti and New Zealand. Traditional Hoʻoponopono is practiced by Indigenous Hawaiian healers, often within the extended family by a family member. There is also a New Age practice that goes by the same name.

In many Polynesian cultures,[citation needed] it is believed that a person’s errors (called hara or hala) caused illness. Some believe error angers the gods, others that it attracts malevolent gods, and still others believe the guilt caused by error made one sick. “In most cases, however, specific ‘untie-error’ rites could be performed to atone for such errors and thereby diminish one’s accumulation of them.”[3]

Among the islands of Vanuatu in the South Pacific, people believe that illness usually is caused by sexual misconduct or anger. “If you are angry for two or three days, sickness will come,” said one local man.[4] The therapy that counters this sickness is confession. The patient, or a family member, may confess. If no one confesses an error, the patient may die. The Vanuatu people believe that secrecy is what gives power to the illness. When the error is confessed, it no longer has power over the person.[5]

Like many other islanders, including Hawaiians, people of Tikopia in the Solomon Islands, and on Rarotonga in the Cook Islands, believe that the sins of the father will fall upon the children. If a child is sick, the parents are suspected of quarreling or misconduct. In addition to sickness, social disorder could cause sterility of land or other disasters.[6] Harmony could be restored only by confession and apology.

In Pukapuka, it was customary to hold sort of a confessional over patients to determine an appropriate course of action in order to heal them.[7]

Similar traditions are found in Samoa,[8] Tahiti,[9] and among the Maori of New Zealand.[10][11][12]

RITUAL:

Hoʻoponopono corrects, restores and maintains good relationships among family members and with their gods or God by getting to the causes and sources of trouble. Usually the most senior member of the family conducts it. He or she gathers the family together. If the family is unable to work through a problem, they turn to a respected outsider.

The process begins with prayer. A statement of the problem is made, and the transgression discussed. Family members are expected to work problems through and cooperate, not “hold fast to the fault”. One or more periods of silence may be taken for reflection on the entanglement of emotions and injuries. Everyone’s feelings are acknowledged. Then confession, repentance and forgiveness take place. Everyone releases (kala) each other, letting go. They cut off the past (ʻoki), and together they close the event with a ceremonial feast, called pani, which often included eating limu kala or kala seaweed, symbolic of the release.[24]

In a form used by the family of kahuna Makaweliweli of the island of Molokaʻi, the completion of hoʻoponopono is represented by giving the person forgiven a lei made from the fruit of the hala tree.[25]

https://consciouslifenews.com/heal-heart-relationships-hooponopono/1166691/

Get Out Of Your Own Way 6-12-18

Today I’d like to focus on getting out of my own way. For seven years since my dad passed away, I’ve been in a funk. When I say funk I literally mean Rock bottom. I can hardly wrap my head around how I’ve allowed myself to arrive at this dismal place.

I’ve shared many times that my life spiraled out of control after my dad passed away. I made some poor decisions despite my intuition saying “Don’t Do It!” I didn’t listen to that voice of reason and the result led me to a very dark place. Cancer, an abusive boyfriend, financial lack, financial debt, depression, PTSD, isolation, rejection…..the list goes on.

I have spent the last three years feeling sorry for myself. After all, in my mind I am a failure. Recently, something happened. I woke up and realized seven years had gone by. Wow. Seven years!! It seems like only a few months have gone by. My eyes were open and I began to recognize the wreckage that had overtaken my life. I thought to myself “I don’t want to live like this anymore.” I made the decision to get my shit together.

I was blessed last month to travel to Maui. I had a free flight and a free place to stay. I spend the time with my cousin doing everything I could to heal myself internally. You can read about my experience on my previous blog. Maui my paradise.

I am a licensed realtor in the state of California. I have done nothing with that either. My license expired in March. I had not even completed any of the required continuation classes however I was granted an extension. The bureau gave me until June 16th, this Saturday, to complete my hours and provide them to their office no later than the 16th. I’m not sure how I did it other than through the grace of God. I passed all eight exams and mailed everything off today.

I’m not sure what’s next for me but what I do know is I have to keep moving forward. Will I sell real estate? I don’t know. I’m a certified John Maxwell member. I’m a certified coach, trainer and speaker. Will I pursue a career in coaching? I don’t know. What I do know is I have to get out of my way and quit being my worst enemy. It’s easy to blame circumstances or even others for our downfalls however at the end of the day our biggest enemy is ourselves. It’s even easier to allow fear, doubt, low self esteem to rule our existence. I’m guilty of that myself. Today I am just going to trust that God has a plan for me and keep moving forward.

I love U2. Their music is incredible. They sing a song called “Get Out Of Your Own Way”. I love the song. While it’s actually a politically motivated tune, for me it’s a reminder to “get out of my way” and keep moving forward. Might I suggest to anyone who is in a rut like I’ve been for seven years, to do the same. Lean in and take charge of your life. Life is short. Live it to the fullest.

Embrace Surrender 6-11-18

We must learn to walk the path of surrender, and seek ways to keep us inspired. Once we embrace surrender as a way to be in our lives–open, receptive, trusting, and grateful, then we can seek inspiration.

Here are five simple ways to stay inspired to continue living into surrendering:

1 Find prayers, poems, or books to encourage you.

2 Be in nature—look at the sky, breath in the fresh air, notice a flower or a tree.

3 Share your soul with a trusted friend or companion.

4 Throughout the day, pause, take a few deeper breaths, and become more conscious of the presence and power of love within and around you

5 Remember what St. Benedict writes in his Rule: Always we begin again.

Colette Lafia

(Let us keep the Summit with North Korea in our prayer)

Worry 6-7-18

I’m a worrier by nature. I worry about everything. Finances, health, relationships and oven worry about the possibility of things that haven’t happened yet. I drive myself insane. For me, once sorry sets in, depression comes, failure, low self esteem and worse I give up.

As of late, I’ve worked diligently on changing this extremely negative attribute. On Monday I met with my oncologist. Recently I found a lump. This lump, however is not on my breast. It’s to the right of my breast on my rib cage. Is it Cancer? Heck if I know. What I do know is on Tuesday I will have an ultra sound. Until then, I’m not going to worry about it.

Yesterday I had a colonoscopy. It’s my third since being diagnosed with pre-colon cancer in 2015. I spent all day Tuesday prepping for the procedure. If you’ve ever had a colonoscopy you can attest the prep is no fun. This time however, I didn’t worry about the outcome. You can’t imagine what a difference not worrying made. My prep was a cake walk as was the procedure. In the end I had three polyps removed as well as a diverticulitis spot removed. They have all been sent in for a biopsy. As for me, I’m not going to worry about it.

My family has been in a very challenging lawsuit since my dads passing. This challenge has brought so much strife in to our life. However, again, I don’t know what the outcome will be. What I do know, I’m not going to worry about it.

My finances are a mess and I face challenges everyday. I’ve spent so much time worrying opposed to spending time finding gratitude in the little things that are positive in my life. Life is short. I don’t know what the future holds for me but what I do know is I’m tired of worrying about it.

This morning the following passages appeared in my life. A reminder that I have nothing to worry about. God is in control. The passage is Matthew 6 28-34

28 “And why do you worry about clothes? See how the flowers of the field grow. They do not labor or spin. 29 Yet I tell you that not even Solomon in all his splendor was dressed like one of these. 30 If that is how God clothes the grass of the field, which is here today and tomorrow is thrown into the fire, will he not much more clothe you—you of little faith? 31 So do not worry, saying, ‘What shall we eat?’ or ‘What shall we drink?’ or ‘What shall we wear?’ 32 For the pagans run after all these things, and your heavenly Father knows that you need them. 33 But seek first his kingdom and his righteousness, and all these things will be given to you as well. 34 Therefore do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own.

If this passage isn’t a reminder to stop worrying then the following song should be. I was in my car this morning and the first song to come on was this great tune by Stevie Wonder. “Don’t you worry about a thing”. Seriously?! I think The Bi Guy is sending me a message.

We all have trials in our life. We all face problems. Some of us more than others. However, if we could just let go and believe in the possibility that everything will work out for our greatest good, Wouldn’t life be easier?! I think so.