May 16th marked my one year anniversary that my ex and I went our separate ways. It’s no secret my relationship with him was nothing short of tumultuous. I’ve only blogged every detail for the world to read!!! What was I thinking?!!! After four years with that lunatic and the strife he brought in to my life, I knew I needed to give myself some time to heal before engaging in another relationship. Relationships with the “Rons” of the world will do that to you!! I haven’t been in any relationship since. And in truth, deep down I wasn’t ready.
I left San Francisco on May 16th, 2015 with a u-haul in tote. I cried all the way home….and I mean the entire 14 hour drive while praying the rosary over and over again. I didn’t stop there. Oh no. I cried for months after that. In fact, I would lock myself in my bedroom and all I did was pray and cry. I slept with a night light. I still do. The nightmares were overwhelming. I would even wear a scapula around my neck and sleep with a cross next to my pillow. Who does that?!! Guilty!!! Me!!! Lol. I have prayed profusely every single day. The good news is I had the support of my cousin and a dear friend, both in San Francisco who were very instrumental in pulling me out of a dark depression. I also had the support of the ladies at my prayer group that I attend once a week and my girlfriend from Maui. I thank god for all of them. Prayer really does work!!!
Breakups are hard. Especially relationships that cause so much pain and heartache. I saw a quote today on Facebook. It said “when people treat you like they don’t care….believe them”. I thought to myself “now you tell me!” I wish I had known.
I’ve come along way since those dark days only a year ago. Or should I say, a week ago!! Just kidding. The truth is healing from breakups takes a very long time. As for me, I’m on the mend. In fact a part of me is ready to give love another try.
A couple of months ago my cousin and I met each other in Las Vegas for a few days. We travelled there to see Santana. It was their reunion concert. The original band members joined each other on the stage. They hadn’t played together in 40 years. What an awesome experience. It was undoubtedly one of the best shows I’ve been to, with the exception of seeing Van Morrison. What made it even more awesome was sharing the experience with my cousin who is my best friend and the sister I never had. I love her very much. In my eyes, she’s the most beautiful girl in the world!!!
While we were there my cousin encouraged me to begin dating again. She suggested trying a dating site. Her suggestion…..Tinder. Now I have never been on a dating site nor have I ever been interested in being on one, but against my better judgement I joined the dating site.
For those of you who have never been on a dating site, my suggestion is you should. If nothing else for a good laugh when you’re home alone on a Saturday night. Now I’m not experienced on dating sites since Tinder is the only site I’ve ever been on but my experience has been nothing short of a comical experience I can’t quite put in to words.
Tinder is great. You log on and you are greeted by photos of single guys. You can swipe right if you’re interested or you swipe left if your answer is NOPE! There’s a few photos with a brief bio of your potential partner. Age and first name only along with the their approximate distance from your location. I’m happy to report all of my potential knights in shining armor have been swiped to the left. “Nope, Nope….and that’s a hell nope!!” My gosh, some of these guys are creepy, some are married and others are so dweeby I can’t stop laughing!!! I don’t mean to come across as caddy but my gosh! “Really god?! And this is what you bring me?!!!”
I have managed to meet a couple of nice guys and have met them for coffee but other than that nothing good has come from being on a dating site. Dating sites…..what are they good for? Nada…..damn thing!!!
Who knows, maybe I’ve been too selective, after all my list of guys I won’t date is bigger than the list of guys I will date. Maybe I’ve been single too long and I’m becoming accustomed to being alone. I don’t know the answer. What I do know is I haven’t given up on hope that there’s someone out there for me. After all, there are three billion men in the world! Surely, one of those three billion has got to be my knight in shining armor!!!
I’ve decided I’ll just wait for the right guy to come waltzing through my door, sweep me off my feet and take me far, far away from here. Let’s hope back to my beloved city by the bay, San Francisco and let’s hope he’s sweet, smells dynamite, is dressed to the nines and is wearing great shoes! He will adore me, flaws and all and will love me in the good times and in the bad and together spend the rest of our lives making each other happy, traveling and living life to the fullest surrounded by family and together making a difference in the lives of others. Until then, whatever it’s worth, a knight in shining armor does exist. You can find him at Cafe Sevilla in California. 😀 he’s stone cold, he has a heart of steel, he’s a little short but you can talk his ear off all night long and he will never complain!!!