On April 28, 1993, my ex-husband and I welcomed the loveliest girl in the world. We named her Kaydren Anne Dunkin. She was beautiful, tiny and so sweet, she was sweeter than a bowl of honey. Hence, she became our “honey girl” and I’ve called her that ever since. I remember the first time I saw my honey girl, she was so beautiful and perfect in every way. She captured my heart. She had these big, beautiful brown eyes, sandy blonde hair and when she’d look at me or she’d smile, my heart would be filled with an overwhelming sense of love that I’d feel like my heart was going to burst. Nearly 22 years later, I still feel the same.
Kaydren was the first granddaughter on both sides of our family. To date, she’s still the only girl. It’s hard to describe how special our honey girl is to this family. I remember the elation we felt as a family when my ex-husband & I were told we would be welcoming a girl. Our excitement, however could never compare to the excitement and anticipation both her nana’s felt. Before our honey girl was born, she had a closet full of frilly dresses, drawers full of headbands and anything and everything “girlie girl” to welcome our “princess of quite a lot”. We had a blast dressing her like a queen…..that is until Kaydren discovered she had a mind of her own. In Kaydrens mind, being a “girlie girl” wasn’t at the top of her list. She was surrounded by cousins which were all boys and two brothers. Her nanas and I spent many years to come battling our sweet honey girl demanding that she wear dresses. We lost every time!
Despite Kaydren’s independent and head strong spirit, she’s grown in to a beautiful young lady and like the day she was born, she’s still the most beautiful and perfect girl in the world. Of course, what can a mother say?
Kaydren will welcome my first grandson in July. I can not begin to describe the feeling of excitement. I’m over the moon in anticipation to greet the newest edition to our family. Today Kaydren posted a picture of herself on Facebook and naturally, the minute I saw her I felt my heart fill up with so much love and like always I felt like my heart would burst. She looked so beautiful.
Like most moms, I’m sure Kaydren has the same insecurities we all felt when we were pregnant with our babies. For those of you who are moms, you can relate to those same insecurities. “I’m fat, I’m ugly, I’m frumpy…..” All those yucky feelings we feel until we lay eyes on our baby and those negative feelings quickly disappear. The minute we see our baby, we immediately feel love and nothing could be more beautiful than the blessing we’ve just received and are able to hold in our arms. Stevie Wonder captured that feeling in a song he dedicated to his own daughter, “isn’t She Lovely”. That’s been my song to Kaydren since the day she was born. In fact, we’ve had countless arguments of my wish (or demand) that she played this song on her wedding day as she walked down the aisle. Ok, call me an overbearing nut but I still think the song would be perfect!!!
As I looked at my daughters picture with her holding her stomach as she carries her own bundle of joy, I began to ponder how our kids will never know just how beautiful and perfect they are in our eyes until they have their own baby. As mothers all we see is beauty and perfection when we look at our children. Even when they make their first arrival.
Looking back, newborns sport a funny look when they’re first born. After all, they’ve been soaking in water for nine months. Yet, as mothers we overlook all that and all we see is something more beautiful than a sunrise or a sunset.
After Kaydren was born, I recall being invited to a dinner party at a couples home who had been in our Lamaze class. This was the last couple to welcome their baby so they thought it would be fun for the entire class to get together to exchange stories and show off our little bundles of joy. I don’t recall how many couples were there however, there were quite a few. Every mom in the room, including myself thought our baby was the most beautiful baby in the room. The couple hosting the party was no different. Unfortunately, their baby was only a few days old and wasn’t as “beautiful” as they thought he was. In fact, we all felt like we were on the Seinfeld episode when Jerry and Elaine are at their friends beach house who had just welcomed their new baby. The episode pokes fun at the parents commenting on how cute their baby is while Jerry and Elaine are in total disagreement. That’s exactly how we all felt. Every time the hosts would comment on how cute their baby was, it was difficult for any of us to agree. I’ll never forget driving off and my ex-husband saying “that was the ugliest baby I’ve ever seen!” We laughed all the way home.
Looking back I realize all newborns aren’t always cute. It’s just as parents, when we see our babies for the first time we overlook all the flaws which more often than not come from nine months of floating in water and hours of being squeezed out of our bodies. Their eyes are swollen, their heads are shaped funny and their little faces are puffy but somehow we overlook their flaws and all we see is everything precious. I remembered this story and quickly reached out to my daughter explaining that as a mom to me she will always be beautiful and she will understand when she has her own baby.
The story is funny and my intention is not to offend anyone by writing about this. My only intention is to remind all moms and future moms that our children are a blessing and forever and a day in our eyes they will be beautiful and perfect in every way. So today, I’d like to dedicate this song to all moms out there and ask them to play this song to their own children. Remind them of your unconditional love for them and remind them in your eyes……they will always be lovely.