I’ve been through many challenges in my life and I’ve experienced some failed relationships. At times, I feel if I was given a “do over” there are many things I’d certainly do different. However, when it comes to having my kids, I would never even consider doing things different. It’s no secret that I am crazy about all 3 of my children. In my eyes, they are not only a blessing, but they are truly my gift from the sky. I used to tell my oldest son Skyler that when he was born, we were so blessed to have him that we named him Skyler because God had sent him to us as a gift so forever and a day we would call him Sky since he was our little gift from the “Sky”. My kids are certainly the biggest blessing I have ever received. I will forever be grateful for having them.
I was at the gym this morning. As usual I was listening to my YouTube playlist. Every song on my list holds a significant meaning. Tupelo Honey by Van Morrison began to play and I immediately thought of my daughter Kaydren. Kaydren was born on April 28, 1993. The minute she arrived my heart was filled with so much love. She was so tiny and sweet. She weighed in at 6 pounds and was as sweet as a bowl of honey. She captured my heart as well as my husbands, but she had her 2 nana’s who were there when she was born, wrapped around her finger. She was so beautiful and perfect in every way. Our sweet little bowl of honey immediately became our very own “honey girl”. She’s been my honey girl ever since.
Before honey girl was born, she had a closet full of dresses filled by her loving nana’s that were over the moon excited for the arrival of our little princess. Honey girl was and still is the only grand baby on both sides who is a girl so you can only imagine how special she is. She had these big brown eyes that were so beautiful. She melted our hearts every time we looked at her. Her nana’s and I were thrilled every time we were able to dress her like the “princess of quite a lot” we thought she was. We got away with it until honey girl turned 3 and developed a mind of her own, not to mention a style of her own.
Kaydren was surrounded by a family of boys. Her brother was a boy and so were her cousins. They all played together so naturally being a girlie girl was not at the top of her list. She also was taller and bigger than all of them so our little honey girl was able to hold her own in any play situation. Wearing dresses and cute outfits didn’t fit in to our honey girls lifestyle of playing with the boys. High top tennis shoes, t-shirts and sweats did. Her nana’s and I fought her every step of the way but honey girl always won. Despite honey girls independence, my love never waivered and in my eyes, she was beautiful and perfect in every way. Something I have always told her throughout her 21 years of living.
Honey girl was the kid who beat up her brothers and cousins, she zipped around on roller blades, she rode 4wheelers, she collected frogs and polliwogs, she played T-ball, she was a swimmer and she was tough as nails and didn’t take crap off of anyone. Especially her brother and cousins. This girl was a force to be messed with. Even when she was playing in the yard wearing shorts with no shirt, when I looked at her I saw my beautiful honey girl who was as sweet as a bowl of honey. I would always say “honey girl. You’re beautiful and perfect in every way!” To me she was and still is.
I remember the first day she came home from kindergarten. My kids went to St. Rose of Lima Catholic school. I asked how her day was? Honey girl looked up at me and said “mom….am I fat?!” I gasped when she asked me. She continued saying “those kids at school said I’m fat!” I looked at my honey girl and said “honey girl, what have I always told you?! You’re beautiful and perfect in every way!” She looked at me and said “I know and that’s what I told those kids!” I asked honey girl what she said and I’ll never forget what she told me. She said “that’s what I told them. I said uhuh my mom said I’m beautiful and perfect in every way but they didn’t believe me!” I felt the tears roll down my face. In a way I was angry at the kids for being so mean but on the other hand it melted my heart to know that my words had been cemented in to my daughter and she was confident enough to see herself as such. I looked at Kaydren that day and explained there would always be mean kids who would say mean things but no matter what they said she would always be perfect. I told her not to let the mean things people say make her forget that. She walked away happy that day.
My daughter has grown in to the most beautiful girl both inside and out that any mother would be proud of. She has a smile that will captivate you and an amazing spirit filled with spunk, confidence and an awesome sense of humor. My daughter has a kind, loving and compassionate heart. In short, she’s amazing!!! Like any mother and daughter relationship, we’ve had our share of ups and downs but through it all, my love for her has never waivered. Many years ago I dedicated this song to my honey girl. I told her that forever and a day she would always be my honey girl and like the song to me she would always be as sweet as “Tupelo Honey”. I meant it then and I still mean it today. Like the lyrics of the song “you can take all the tea in China. Put it in a big brown bag for me and sail it right around all the 7 oceans. Drop it straight in to the deep dark sea.” My honey girl is “as sweet as Tupelo Honey. She’s an angel in the first degree. She’s as sweet as Tupelo honey. Just like honey, baby, from a bee”.
I miss my daughter today but I can’t begin to express how proud I am of the young lady she has become. I love her to the moon and back. She will always be my angel and she will always be my dear sweet honey girl as sweet as honey from a bee. I love you Honey Girl!