Goodbye Chemo! It’s Been Real! 10-30-14

This has been a busy morning. I woke up to the excitement I’m still feeling from the big World Series win of the Giants last night. What a series it was! I’m still over the moon excited. I went to my acupuncture appointment and I just took my Dexamethasone to prepare for my 6th and final chemotherapy treatment tomorrow. I do not like taking those pills! They make me sick! However, how fitting. My last treatment falls on the day of the Giants big parade and not to mention….Halloween. I think I’ll go dressed as myself. I am disappointed I will miss the parade and cheer on my beloved giants, but at the same time I’m looking forward to putting this part of my cancer treatment behind me. I understand chemotherapy is necessary to save my life but I have to say, me and chemo haven’t gone well together. We are just not very good friends. Let’s see, chemo has made me so sick I ended up in the hospital, my oncologist has reduced the dose twice, I’m bald and half the time I’m clumsy and have no idea what day it is. On many occasions I haven’t been able to remember people’s names or even conversations I’ve had. I sure hope I haven’t made any big decisions throughout the past 4 months. That could be a catastrophe. I couldn’t swallow after the 3rd treatment only to be advised to take Benedryl and then I passed out. I have neuropathy on my toes and fingers but the good news is after tomorrow I won’t have to dread another 4 to 5 hours of sitting on a chair at the oncology department being injected with Carboplaten, Taxotere, Herceptin, Dexamethasone, Neulasta shot & nausea meds along with 10 – 13 days of feeling like crap afterwards. I will however continue my visits for the next year to receive Herceptin infusions every 3 weeks. I’m ok with that.

My next venture is Radiation. Hmm It will be interesting to see how that goes. I heard at my support group it can make you very tired and if you have sensitive skin it can really burn. Well I had a reaction to the cellophane I used to cover the numbing medication I applied to my port before chemo. So with that said I’m pretty sure me and radiation won’t be good friends either. Geez. I can’t catch a break. Lol I’m keeping an open mind though.

My 5th treatment really made me sick. It took longer than usual to bounce back. My oncologist said it was because the chemo drugs build up after each treatment. Yikes. It took me 13 days to start bouncing back and on my 17th day I finally began to feel like myself again. I will just have to wait to see how chemo #6 goes. A friend from my support group wrote yesterday and shared she had gotten sicker than usual after her 5th treatment. Her oncologist told her the same thing. We started treatment a week apart so her last treatment is next week. It’s been really nice to travel this journey with someone else. I’ve said this many times. Not everyone’s experience is the same but what is the same is the drive we all have to fight this disease. I met with my oncologist 2 weeks ago. She shared she was keeping her fingers crossed this treatment would work but she couldn’t guarantee I would beat this or guarantee I wouldn’t be in the same fight a year from now. I have a long road ahead of me. I know that. I know I have to go through genetic cancer counseling soon to rule out other cancers such as ovarian cancer. I understand all that. I also understand there are no guarantees I won’t be going through this again a year from now but just for today I’m looking forward to saying goodbye to my good friend “chemo” tomorrow and like my oncologist, I’m keeping my fingers crossed we won’t cross paths again.

A friend of mine posted this poem on my Facebook page a week ago. I was so touched I thought I’d share. Life throws us a curveball sometimes but as woman, we are not only strong enough to overcome but we are blessed because God created us to be special.

God said, “When I made the woman she had to be special.

I made her shoulders strong enough to carry the weight of the world,
yet gentle enough to give comfort.

I gave her an inner strength to endure childbirth and the rejection that many times comes from her children.

I gave her a hardness that allows her to keep going when everyone else gives up, and take care of her family through sickness and fatigue without complaining.

I gave her the sensitivity to love her children under any and all circumstances, even when her child has hurt her very badly.

I gave her strength to carry her husband through his faults and fashioned her from his rib to protect his heart.

I gave her wisdom to know that a good husband never hurts his wife, but sometimes tests her strengths and her resolve to stand beside him unfalteringly.

And finally, I gave her a tear to shed. This is hers exclusively to use whenever it is needed.”

“You see my son,” said God, “the beauty of a woman is not in the clothes she wears, the figure that she carries, or the way she combs her hair.

The beauty of a woman must be seen in her eyes, because that is the doorway to her heart – the place where love resides.”

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