Since being diagnosed with breast cancer my partner has behaved rather aloof towards me. Don’t get me wrong, he’s taken me to all of my chemo appointments but he’s been very distant. In fact, I have felt on many occasions he no longer finds me attractive. Besides the insults, the temper tantrums when it comes to wearing my wig, my partner has gone out of his way to blatantly check out other women when we are out. And not just any women, he is infatuated with young girls in their 20’s. He has gone out of his way to slow down while we are in the car and gawk every time he sees a young woman wearing a short skirt or dress. I’m not going to lie, it has been very hurtful. The other night we were on our way home. There was a young woman in her 20’s getting in her car. She was wearing an extremely short dress. My partner not only slowed down to look, he stopped the car and stared. He must have accidentally taken his foot off the break because the car began to move forward while he was still staring and he nearly hit a pedestrian. I was nothing short of insulted!!!!
Last night on our way home from seeing the Motown Musical, rather than driving home, we kept driving around the block at Union Square. The entire time my partner was slowing down to gawk at all the young girls in their 20’s wearing short dresses. I had finally had enough so when I saw 2 young girls in their 20’s wearing short dresses walking towards us on the sidewalk, I blurted out “here come 2 young girls wearing short dresses! You better look!” My partners blurted out “where?!” When he came to his senses he asked me what I was trying to say. I explained that I felt it was very inappropriate, rude and disrespectful towards me for him to continually be so blatant about checking out other women. Especially young ladies in their 20’s. His response was “I’m not blind and you’ll just have to deal with it!” He didn’t deny it at first however when I asked him how he would feel if I was doing the same, his response took a turn. He began to call me names, he insulted me and even accused me of being a liar and a manipulator. I kept my cool. I didn’t argue. When we got home I explained to my partner that he was free to gawk & lust over whoever he wanted and I was free to voice how I felt about the situation. I explained to him that I found his infatuation w young women in their 20’s to be extremely disgusting. I also felt he exhibited pedephile behaviors and he would be perfect to be on 60 minutes. I explained that if a 68 year old dirty old man was lusting over my 21 year old daughter I would literally kick his ass!! As usual, he tried to manipulate the situation and blame me. He insulted me repeatedly. He even accused me of being a pedephile! Of course my response was “that’s highly impossible since unlike you I don’t spend my time lusting over young boys in their 20’s!” I laughed at him. The whole time I kept my cool and did not allow him to get the best of me. I was a cool cat. I didn’t let anything he threw at me to get the best of me. I stood up for myself and for every parent with a 21 year old daughter who should be protected from the likes of any dirty old man. My partner was furious that he could not break me.
This morning I woke up and thought I’d give him a taste of his own medicine. I put on my short salsa dress and slipped on a pair of high heels. When he woke up I greeted him with nothing but sugar and love. A feeling that was certainly not reciprocated. He began to argue with me and call me names. He accused me of “playing with his head “. Are you serious, dude?!!! I laughed at him and said “get over it! Quit being a drama queen!!!” He accused me of lying about the situation. I responded “you admitted it so in what way am I liar?” Grumpy was in full force. I remained cool and continued to be sweeter than sugar. He didn’t get very far so finally he stormed out of the house. He was gone for over 2 hours. When he returned he started in on me again. At this point I’m laughing. I continued to act nice. He told me that from now on I would just have to accept him looking at other woman. I looked at him and replied “that’s fine. But as long as you’re gawking at other girls I’ll be wearing short dresses, just the way you like it to give other men a reason to gawk at me!” Clearly he was spitting bullets. He told me to go downstairs the way I was dressed so men could look at me. I seized the opportunity to be a smart ass and replied “no, I’m not in the mood. I’m actually going to wait until mass tonight and go dressed like this so the men can gawk at me there”. He was furious saying “that’s just great. You’re going to mass dressed like that?!” I responded “yes. What’s the big deal?! I’m dressed just how you like it!” He walked in to the living room and threw himself on the couch.
I have spent the entire day dressed like I’m on my way to a salsa club. I have to admit, I don’t feel comfortable. My feet are killing me but I’m determined to make a point. I’ve continued to be sweet going as far as making my guy a sandwich. For the next few days I’m going to wear short skirts, high heels and this ridiculous wig. I know it’s driving him insane but I don’t care!! After all, why should I? He clearly has no regard for me so I will dress like a salsa dancer every where we go. That includes Safeway, costco and even my doctors appointments. I may not be 20 something anymore. I may not be that sexy hot chick anymore but I’ll say this. I still have class and a little bit of respect left. I’ve been through hell and back for the past few months and while I’m tired, haggard and no longer sexy, I still deserve respect. We all do!!!! And as far as I’m concerned he can kiss my ass!! Lol