Detention 9-25-14

Yesterday may not have started as my best day ever, however it ended as a really good day. When I woke up I found myself wanting to give up. Life seemed bleak. I went to my first cancer support group. I can’t begin to tell you how good it felt to be around women who understood the crazy emotions that have been swirling around in my head since being diagnosed with breast cancer. It felt good to share my feelings and be understood. It was also so enlightening to hear the the stories from other women. I can’t wait to go back. As it turns out, I’m not crazy after all. Thank goodness. The meeting had just begun when my phone rang. I was shocked to see my youngest sons name on the caller ID. My heart went pitter patter and I quickly answered the phone. The minute I heard my sons voice say “hi mom” I felt the tears run down my face. I was so happy. I didn’t get to talk for long since the support group had just began but the few minutes I did have made all the difference in the world. I explained to my son that I was at a cancer support group and asked if I could call him back after the meeting. He agreed. We spoke again briefly after and he promised to call me again today. I have been so sad for the past 2 months about my kids. Hearing from my son not only melted my heart, it made me the happiest mom in the whole wide world. Just when I was ready to give up, god blessed me with a miracle. Hearing my son’s voice and hearing him say the word “mom” not only gave me hope, it gave me just the right amount of strength to not give up. I am feeling so grateful. Being a mom is a blessing. It’s amazing how quickly our kids can turn us to butter. For me, a hug, a kiss or even a smile from one of my kids can melt my heart. I love to hear them call me mom. I love to hear them laugh. I love my kids to the moon and back. I just think my kids are all that!

Last night I had to go to Trader Joes. For those of you who shop at Trader Joes, you can relate when I say the best part of shopping there is the free coffee and the free yummy samples. Last night 2 young 21 year old college girls were handing out samples of pumpkin bread. I was getting a cup of coffee when suddenly one of the girls asked me what I thought. At first I had no idea what she was talking about. I hadn’t really been paying attention. Both girls were complaining about a boy in their college class who, according to them, was rude , arrogant and had no regard for the women in their class. In the back of my mind I was thinking “women? You’re young girls!” Evidently this male student had “the nerve” to accuse these girls of having “mood swings”. I have to admit, I found myself chuckling. My response to these young girl was “you’re women. Of course you have mood swings!” I went on to share that I had always heard girls were more mature than boys and I had always heard that unlike boys who have a “one track” mind, girls had a tendency to think with both sides. It was my understanding this is why as women our wheels are always spinning. I explained to these young ladies that I was no professional and had no idea if this was true or not, but as a mother of 2 boys and 1 girl, in my experience I had found this to be true. Then I remembered my blog about Snow White And The Seven Dwarfs. I shared my interpretation. Can you believe these 2 young ladies loved it. I said “before you engage in an argument with your classmate again, breathe and remember…. You’re Snow White and you’re dealing with one of the 7 Dwarfs!” They not only bought it, they loved it. They even called me awesome. It’s kind of nice to know that occasionally my sense of humor still resignates with young people even though I’m pushing 50!!! I’d like to think that yesterday my conversation with these girls made a difference.

It reminded me of a story when my oldest son was in the 8th grade. He had called me to insist that I contact the principal of his school. My son had just been given detention and would have to spend the following Saturday at school. My son explained that his buddies had been making fun of a female student. She was so hurt she told the principal. The principal called the boys, my son included, in to his office and gave them detention. My son was adamant he hadn’t said anything to the girl. A story that was backed up by the female student. Yet he was still given detention and felt he didn’t deserve it. After listening to my sons pleading and his continued excuse “I did nothing” my response to my son that day was this. “Exactly. You did nothing. You stood there and allowed your friends to disrespect and hurt this young lady and you did nothing. That’s why I’m not calling the principal and that’s why you will spend your Saturday in detention!” I picked up my son the following Saturday and dropped him off at detention. Was he angry with me? Absolutely! But it taught my son a lesson. I understand that as females we are like wild cards. We’re moody, emotional, crazy but that doesn’t give any one the right to disregard our feelings. I thought about these young girls at Trader Joes. They were probably being opinionated in class. Possibly even send the male student over the edge but rather than arguing and engaging in name calling maybe he should’ve stepped back and engaged in an amicable discussion. Who knows. I’m certainly not mother of the year but what I do know is I’ve always taught my boys to be respectful of others. More importantly, respectful towards women. Are my kids perfect?! No way! Do I always do the right thing or say the right thing? Of course not. I’ve always said when my kids were born my insurance plan didn’t cover the “How to be a perfect parent” manual. I’m just a mom in training. I am not confident I steered these two young ladies in the right direction last night but I sure hope that the next time they are ready to engage in an argument with a fellow male student, they will sit back, breathe and visualize the “enemy” as a cartoon character before they tear his eyes out. I’m also hopeful that if a male student decides to engage in name calling or argumentative behavior, another male student will come out of the woodwork and stick up for these girls. If not…..they deserve detention!!!!

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