A friend of mine was set to get married on April 4th at Dodger Stadium. He had finally found the love of his life or so he thought.
The coronavirus happened as well as the shutdown in California. He was laid off from his job and when he was, his fiancé dumped him. Her reason. “You have no job”. Wow! Well he’s been brooding and is naturally devastated. While my heart goes out to him I managed to tell him this woman clearly wasn’t the love of his life. Or better, he wasn’t hers.
I got a sappy text today from him. His ex fiancé hasn’t even bothered to contact him. In her eyes, he’s a loser. In my eyes, well she’s a bitch! But it’s none of my business. My reply was the following. Don’t take things personally. My motto if your partner can’t love you in the bad times……NEXT!!! We all need a little reminder. Whatever happens….don’t take it personally. You’ll only hurt yourself if you do.
“Whatever happens around you, don’t take it personally… Nothing other people do is because of you. It is because of themselves. All people live in their own dream, in their own mind; they are in a completely different world from the one we live in. When we take something personally, we make the assumption that they know what is in our world, and we try to impose our world on their world.
Even when a situation seems so personal, even if others insult you directly, it has nothing to do with you. What they say, what they do, and the opinions they give are according to the agreements they have in their own minds…Taking things personally makes you easy prey for these predators, the black magicians. They can hook you easily with one little opinion and feed you whatever poison they want, and because you take it personally, you eat it up….
But if you do not take it personally, you are immune in the middle of hell. Immunity in the middle of hell is the gift of this agreement.”
Life should not be lived through a series of mind games, but from truth and looking deep within.For better or worse, many people have been raised to believe that communicating in an honest and open way will not get them what they want. They have learned, instead, to play mind games or go on power trips in the service of their ego’s agenda. People stuck in this outmoded and inefficient style of communication can be trying at best and downright destructive at worst. We may get caught up in thinking we have to play the same games in order to defend ourselves, but that will only lead us deeper into confusion and conflict. The best way to handle people like this is to be clear and honest with them.
As with all relationships and situations in our lives, we must look within for both the source of our difficulties and the solution. Reacting to the situation by getting upset will only entrench us more deeply in the undesirable relationship. Only by disengaging, becoming still, and going within can we begin to see what has hooked us into the mess in the first place. We will most likely find unprocessed emotions that we can finally fully feel and release into the stillness we find in meditation. The more we are able to do this, the less we will be bothered by the other person’s dramas and the more we will be free to respond in a new way. In the light of our new awareness, the situation will untangle itself and we will slowly break free.
Whenever people come into our lives, they have come for a reason, to show us something about ourselves that we have not been able to see. When unhealthy people try to hook us into their patterns with mind games and power trips, we can remind ourselves that we have something to learn here and that a part of us is calling out for healing. This takes the focus off the troubling individual and puts it back on us, giving us the opportunity to change the situation from the inside out.
Those of you who grew up in a small town can relate to this. When I was a kid, my favorite part of waking up in the morning was waking up to the sound of chirping birds outside. As a young kid, it was so peaceful and inviting. In those days, I could hear the sound of lawn mowers as our neighbors would be outside mowing their lawn. I suspect they would do this early before the temperatures would rise to often times over 100 degrees. I would just lie in my bed listening to the birds singing before I got up. For me, it was my favorite part of the day.
I opened my window last night. The weather here is really changing. Summer is right around the corner. I woke up and was greeted by the chirping birds outside. Just like I was a kid I felt a sense of peace. I also felt a sense of nostalgia missing the days when I was a kid. Life was good. My only worry was what fun I was going to have that day.
I love city living and I’ll be honest, I miss the city quite a bit. However, in the city you wake up to the sounds of sirens or honking from all the traffic outside. Here….not so much. I do hear the sounds of cars passing by heading to work but I also here the sound of all the birds singing loudly. To me that’s peace. I have to say, I really love it here. Country living…..it’s awesome when you take a few minutes to recognize the blessing. For me it comes in the form of birds chirping outside my window.
I took this picture of a pheasant in my brothers organic apple orchard
Good morning. My beautiful cousin surprised me the other day by mailing me a “bottle” of positive vibes and good juju the other day. I received them with so much love. After all, she’s my best friend in the whole world. She’s like a sister to me. I love her so much. I loved her thoughtful gift so much I was prompted to share my “bottle of positive vibes and good juju” with others today. I hope you receive my gift with the same gratitude I did the day I received mine. Have a great day 💫❤️
Today is my sixth month anniversary. Six months ago, I was on my walk. It was Sunday. I was praying that day asking god to intercede in my life and help me to land on my feet again spiritually, emotionally and physically. I was so tired of the anxiety, depression, PTSD, a negative mindset as well as the constant fear and worry that had taken control of my life.
This coming May will be five years that I returned from San Francisco. I’m embarrassed to admit that I’ve isolated myself in my room ever since. Life happens sometimes. Challenges arise, traumatic experiences happen. Health problems, relationship problems, job loss, finances…..Life as we knew it can change in a New York minute.
That Sunday, I made the decision to take my life back. I won’t bore you with the details. Some things are just meant to stay private. However, I will share I have been working diligently to take control of my mind, body and soul and spirit everyday. The result….I’m happy again. I love life again….and I’m grateful. I have a whole new perspective. I see the blessings in all things even at a time when we are all forced to be in isolation. I’m learning every day to create a better me. You too can create a better you the minute you decide to take control of your life. Good times will happen as will bad. Happy times will happen as will sad. It’s how we choose to react to every situation. Personally, I chose to react poorly.
Six months ago, I chose peace, love, serenity, joy, health, family, but more importantly life! I choose to live my life in a state of gratitude opposed to depression. It’s been six months ago today that I prayed asking God for help. He heard me that day because today is my anniversary and every day I find myself looking forward to the day as well as what the future will be that is right in front me. With any luck, the light that shines in my life will exude and shine brightly on those I encounter everyday. Life is good! It always was. I just failed to recognize it.
Resentment is the “number one” offender. It destroys more people than anything else. From it stems all forms of spiritual disease, mental and physical illness. We become spiritually sick.
As we look at ourselves, we can easily see resentment as a question of “getting even” for a wrong done to “me.” If we continue to relive old hurts, it is a resentment that bars the sunlight from our soul. If we continue to relive hurts and hates, we will only hurt and hate ourselves. We must let go of resentments; Clearly, we cannot afford them. Let go and let the sunshine in.
(This Photo was taken at a hotel lobby I was at in Spokane, Wa)
If we don’t change what isn’t working in our lives, we will continually have the same day over and over again. We have all had the experience of realizing that something in our lives is not working. This knowledge can come as a sudden realization or a nagging feeling of doubt that grows stronger, waking us up to the fact that something needs to change. Some people have a tendency to act rashly and make sweeping changes before even understanding what the problem is. Other people fear change, so they live with the uncomfortable awareness that something needs to shift but won’t do anything about it. Between these two extreme responses lies a middle way that can help us powerfully and gracefully change what isn’t working in our lives.
The first step is remembering that your life is made up of parts that belong to an interconnected whole. Changing one thing can change everything. Because of this, small changes often have a big effect. Sometimes much bigger changes are necessary, but the only way to know for sure is to take the time to really understand the problem. Examine your life as an entirety–your work, your relationships, where you live–and determine what specifically is not functioning the way you would like. Once you have figured out the problem, write it down on a piece of paper. For example, “I am not happy with my relationship” or “I don’t like my apartment.” The next step is to figure out the adjustment you would like to make and how you can go about making this change. If you are unhappy with your relationship because you spend too much or not enough time with your partner, you may want to discuss this problem with them and come up with a compromise. On the other hand, if you realize your relationship is not working to such a degree that it needs to end, begin working through that process. Writing down the truth can be a powerful catalyst for change.
The key to making changes that work is to accept the necessity of change as part of life. As we change, we may find it necessary to fine-tune our relationships, work, and living situations. Our lives are living, breathing entities that reflect our dynamic selves.
(I took this photo on the Road To Hana) Velma Dunkin